This Happens Once in a While
by Mokona the Marshmallow God
Summary: PG for violence... A crazy and *nearly* pointless utena fic... This used to be on my old account (who knows why I made two) and now I moved it over here. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

This Happens Once in a While.....  
  
A/N: Hello! If you didn't know this is a fanfiction by the author formerly known as the Handsome Flaming Mouse. Well, the Handsome flaming mouse is... ME! I have no idea why I put up another account. I must have been unconcious when I did it. Anywho, I moved it over here so... yeah.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Utena: Wow! That was some movie, wouldn't you say, Anthy?  
  
Anthy: I would say that was some movie!  
  
Utena: ..... whaaaaatever.... Hey, Saionji, what did ya think of that movie?  
  
Saionji: It makes me look FAT ! (sob sob)  
  
Juri: Ohh....... I'm SO sick from all that popcorn!  
  
Touga: Hey, I've got some Tylenol!  
  
Juri: Is it the swallowing kind?  
  
Touga: DUH!  
  
Juri: I.... I won't do it!  
  
Touga: You have to! Now lean your head back and I'll just drop it in, kay?  
  
Juri: Uh....  
  
Miki: Um, Miss Anthy?  
  
Anthy: Yes?  
  
Miki: W... will you go out with me???  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena? Should I go to dinner with Sir Miki?  
  
Utena: No. You don't want to.  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena says I don't want to.  
  
Nanami: THE TOILET'S CLOGGED!!!!  
  
Utena: Anthy, go unclogg the toilet for Nanami.  
  
Nanami: THERE'S NO PLUNGER!  
  
Utena: Then use Miki's head!  
  
Anthy: Sir Miki, I am going to use your head to unclogg the toilet.  
  
Miki: You're gonna WHAT?!  
  
Flooooooooshhhhh!!!  
  
Anthy: All done!  
  
Utena: Where's Miki?  
  
Anthy: I flushed Sir Miki down the toilet.  
  
Utena: OH NO! THE TOILET WILL BE CLOGGED AGAIN!  
  
Anthy: May I go rescue Sir Miki, Miss Utena?  
  
Nanami: YES! I HAVE TO GOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Utena: Sure, for Nanami.  
  
(Anthy flushes herself down the toilet)  
  
Anthy: Oh dear, it sure smells down here! It could use some cleaning!  
  
Miki: M-miss Anthy! Thank goodness you're here!  
  
Anthy: Why hello, Sir Miki. MISS UTENA! I HAVE FOUND SIR MIKI! WHAT SHOULD I DO?  
  
Utena: Get him out!  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena says.....  
  
Utena: Quit repeating me!  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena says we should do the thing she told me to do.  
  
Miki: Which is?  
  
Anthy: Come, Sir Miki! (Drags Miki some place)  
  
Miki: I see a light up there! But it's too high to reach....  
  
Anthy: MISS UTENA! HOW DO WE GET UP!  
  
Utena: Duh! Use your super duper utility belt!  
  
Anthy: IT WON'T WORK!  
  
Utena: Did you set it to Wumbo?  
  
Anthy: Oh yeah! WUMBO! (floats up)  
  
Miki: WAIT FOR ME!  
  
Anthy: Oh dear! I have forgotten Sir Miki! YOOF! (floats down)  
  
Miki: Thanks! Now let's go!  
  
Anthy: WUMBO! (floats up)  
  
Miki's thoughts: I can't believe it! I'm holding Miss Anthy's hand! Her skin is so soft.....  
  
Anthy: Here he is! (throws Miki on the ground) (correction, slams him)  
  
Utena: Thanks a ton, Anthy!  
  
Nanami: NOW GET OUT!!!!!!! (slams door)  
  
Floooooooshhhhhh!!!!  
  
Nanami: Much better!  
  
Juri: Ok, here goes! (gulp) COUGH HACK!  
  
Touga: Oh no! Juri's choking! (runs around in circles) JURI'S CHOKING! JURI'S CHOKING! JURI'S CHOKING!  
  
Miki: Well don't just stand there! Use the hineylick manuver!  
  
Touga: The WHAT :) :) :)  
  
Miki: THE HIMELICK MANUVER!  
  
Touga: Poo. I thought it was .... something else.  
  
Juri: COUGH HACK! (turns blue)  
  
Touga: (running in circles) WHO KNOWS THE HINEYLICK MANUVER?! ANYBODY? ANYBODY? ANYBODY???!!!  
  
Juri: (passes out)  
  
Miki: Oh dear! Miss Juri's passed out!  
  
Touga: JURI PASSED OUT! JURI PASSED OUT! WHAT DO WE DO?  
  
Nanami: You have to use the AR!  
  
Touga: Oo! Ooo! I'll do it!  
  
Miki: NO YOU WON'T!  
  
Saionji: Eeew! Not me! I don't wanna kiss her!  
  
Nanami: Not kiss her, idiot! A R!  
  
Saionji: Well, it sure looks like kissing to me!  
  
Utena: Not me!  
  
Anthy: Not me!  
  
Nanami: Not me!  
  
Miki: Not me!  
  
Touga: ME! ME!  
  
Miki: Not Touga!  
  
Nanami: Hmm... no pulse...  
  
Touga: JURI'S DEAD! JURI'S DEAD! HELP! HELP! HELP!  
  
Miki: BREATHE! BREATHE! (Jumps on Juri)  
  
Juri: HACK! (spits up pill) (up Miki's nose)  
  
Miki: EEEEW! GROSS! Pardon me a second.... (Goes into the bathroom and pulls out the pill)  
  
Juri: Oh Miki! You saved my life! I am eternally grateful! (Hugs Miki)  
  
Miki: Eek! Get her away from me! Help!  
  
Juri: You saved my life! I am eternally grateful! (Chases Miki)  
  
----------------------------- END -----------------------------  
  
Did ya like? I'll write more if I get at least 5 reviews.... (sorry Touga fans) 


	2. Chapter 2

This Happens Once in a While... an Utena story  
  
A/N: I ADDED MORE ANYWAYS! So R&R!  
  
------------------------------------------ Utena: What a dumb episode! It made me look like an idiot, don't you think Anthy?  
  
Anthy: I think that it made Miss Utena look like an idiot. Poor Miss Utena!  
  
Saionji: Well, I liked it!  
  
Miki: How could you like an episode THAT dumb? I mean COME ON!  
  
Nanami: Touga, dear brother, how did you like it?  
  
Touga: Heh heh..... I like it when I get to say the thing about the chickens....  
  
Nanami: Chickens?  
  
Touga: You know, "if the chick doesn't break its shell, the chick will die" or whatever.  
  
Juri: Well, it's almost time for bed, I'm going to curl up with our manga. (pulls glasses out of pocket)  
  
Touga: Ew, Juri! You look like a freak in glasses!  
  
Juri: Well I can't read without them!  
  
Touga: Ever tried contacts?  
  
Juri: ...... I can't get them in.  
  
Touga: Here, let me help you.  
  
Juri: Uh....  
  
Miki: Miss Anthy, please go out with me! Please?  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena, Sir--  
  
Miki: Without consulting Utena, Anthy! Express your own opinion this time, will you?  
  
Anthy: But Sir Miki! I consult Miss Utena for everything! You see, I am the Rose Bride! Miss Utena is the prince!  
  
Miki: Well someday, I'll show you, Anthy, I will be your prince! Someday---  
  
Utena: Yeah blah blah blah now go play with your Tinker Toys already and keep dreaming.  
  
Miki: (mumble mumble I'll show her grumble mumble) (sits down to play with Tinker Toys)  
  
Nanami: Sob sob sob!  
  
Utena: What's wrong, Nanami?  
  
Nanami: Big brother only pays attention to Juri! I.... must.... KILL HER! MUAHAHA!  
  
Saionji: Oo! Oo! Can I kill her too?  
  
Nanami: I'll kill YOU if you get in my way!  
  
Saionji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Nanami: KILL! KILL! MUST KILL SAIONJI! MUHAHAHAHA!  
  
Saionji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Nanami: MUAHAHA!  
  
Saionji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Nanami: HAHAHAHAHAHA! KILL!  
  
Utena: *sweatdrop*  
  
Anthy: *sweatdrop*  
  
Utena: Remember LAST time you copied me?  
  
Anthy: Yes Miss Utena, I do remember.  
  
Utena: QUIT COPYING ME!!!!!  
  
Anthy: Yes Miss Utena! I will.... do that.  
  
Juri: AAAAAAAH! OW OW OW OW OWWWWWWWWWW!!!! IT HURTS!  
  
Touga: You're not supposed to touch your eye!  
  
Juri: Well then, you do it.  
  
Touga: Well OK, see, you lift up your eyelid like this, and....  
  
Miki: Connect and attatch this gizmo-bob to this klickertink and..... I have created Anthy!  
  
Utena: Boy, do you have a vivid imagination.....  
  
Miki: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!  
  
Utena: I mean it's nuthin but a pile of green blocks, that's what!  
  
Miki: Humph! Anthy, what do you think?  
  
Anthy: Um, Miss Utena, what do I think?  
  
Utena: Whatever you want to think!  
  
Anthy: I think you have a great imagination, Miki!  
  
Miki: You really think so?  
  
Anthy: Yes! Yes I do! Do I, Miss Utena?  
  
Utena: Uh... no.  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena says that I don't. Sorry, Sir Miki.  
  
Miki: SOB SOB! DOESN'T ANYONE LOVE ME?!  
  
Kazue: I do, Miki!  
  
Miki: Doesn't anyone care about poor little Miki?!  
  
Kazue: I do, Miki! Me! Your sister!  
  
Miki: Uh... anyone besides her?  
  
Juri: Oh Miki! You saved my life! I am eternally grateful!  
  
Kazue: YOU DON'T LIKE ME!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Utena: What a crybaby!  
  
Anthy: I think so too.  
  
Utena: Really?  
  
Anthy: Yes! Yes I do! Do I, Miss Utena?  
  
Utena: Well, at least you're sort of able to express your opinion... sort of....  
  
Touga: And you just pop it right in!  
  
Saionji: TOUGAAAAAAAAAA! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Touga: NANAMI!  
  
Nanami: Oh dear brother, Saionji and I were only playing! I didn't mean to hurt him!  
  
Saionji: DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HIM? YOU WHACKED ME UPSIDE THE HEAD!  
  
Nanami: I won't do it again, dear brother! I promise!  
  
Touga: Well, OK.  
  
Juri: I'm sorry, Touga, I didn't get that last part with Saionji screaming and all.  
  
Touga: I'm coming, sweet Juri!  
  
Nanami: "SWEET JURI?!" That GIRL is stealing my brother, and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!  
  
Saionji: My fault?!  
  
Nanami: Yes! HE went back to HER because SHE didn't hear when YOU screamed! DIE!!!  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Juri: Ok, I got it in!  
  
Touga: Great job! Now here's how to take it out.  
  
Juri: I.... I.... I can't get it out!  
  
Touga: Try again.  
  
(THREE HOURS LATER)  
  
Juri: Can't.... I can't get it out...  
  
Touga: SHE CAN'T GET IT OUT! SHE CAN'T GET IT OUT! OH NOOOO!!!  
  
Miki: Calm down! We could have someone to take it out for her....  
  
Utena: Not me.  
  
Anthy: Not me.  
  
Touga: Oo! Oo! I'll do it! I wanna touch Juri's eyeball!  
  
Miki: NOT TOUGA!  
  
Nanami: DIIIIIIIIE!!!  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Juri: SOMEBODY!  
  
Kazue: Not me!  
  
Miki: Wha? No, n-not me!  
  
Utena: You're the only one left!  
  
Juri: Oh Miki! Save me! You're my only hope!  
  
Touga: Oo! Oo! I wanna touch Juri's eyeball!!!  
  
Miki: (sigh) Do I have a choice?  
  
All: NO!!!  
  
Touga: Yes! I'll do it!  
  
Juri: Please Miki? For me?  
  
Miki: OK, here..... (takes out lens)  
  
Miki: Gross! Juri's eye gunk!  
  
Juri: Oh Miki! You saved my life! I am eternally grateful! (Hugs Miki)  
  
Miki: NOT THIS AGAIN! (runs away)  
  
Juri: Miki! Wait! You saved my life!!!!!  
  
Saionji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Nanami: DIE!!! ------------------------------------------  
  
Hmm, that one wasn't as good as my first, but who cares? Well anywho, R&R! More coming soon! 


	3. Chapter 3

This Happens Once in a While... An Utena story  
  
A/N: copyrights go to whoever and anything that owns something that I do not own so yeah, you get the picture....  
  
----------------------------------- Utena: What an idiotic episode! I can't believe it, can you, Anthy?  
  
Anthy: I can't believe it!  
  
Utena: Um..... yeeeaaah....  
  
Nanami: DIE! MUHAHA!  
  
Saionji: HELP! SAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
Touga: Oh Juri! Your button's missing from your shirt!  
  
Juri: Oh no! My button's missing from my shirt!  
  
Anthy: Oh, I will fix it Miss Juri!  
  
Juri: NOOO! NOT YOU!!!  
  
Anthy: Miss Utena, should I do it?  
  
Utena: Nah, better not...  
  
Miki: I can fix it, Juri! Just go change into another shirt and I'll sew it back on for you  
  
Juri: Nah, it's no big. I'll just do it. Nanami!  
  
Nanami: WHATDAYA WANT???!!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY???!!!  
  
Juri: I need a sewing needle.  
  
Nanami: Hmph! Why don't you get it yourself?!  
  
Touga: Nanami....  
  
Nanami: Oh dear brother! I will do it for you, o dearest of dear brothers! (brings a needle)  
  
Juri: Thank you Nanami.  
  
Nanami: Now back to business....  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Miki: Miss Anthy!  
  
Utena: Oh, NOW what do you want?!  
  
Miki: I was TALKING to Anthy.  
  
Utena: Fine. Whatever.  
  
Miki: M-miss Anthy?  
  
Anthy: Yes?  
  
Miki: uhhh.... duh duh duh, uh, um, I, duh, I uh um uh, huh, blah, oh, I uh, I, um....  
  
Utena: SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!!!!  
  
Miki: Huh! I can't remember!  
  
Anthy: I'll wait.  
  
Miki: ..... Oh! I was wondering if...... uh, Utena.....  
  
Utena: No.  
  
Miki: Humph! Well, Anthy.....uh, duh... I uh.... UTENA! GET OUT OF HERE!!! YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS!  
  
Utena: FINE! BE THAT WAY! (walks out of room)  
  
Miki: Miss Anthy? Will you please please PLEASE go out with me?  
  
Anthy: Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt....  
  
Miki: REALLY?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!  
  
Utena: NO!  
  
Miki: U-TE-NAAA! I told you to leave me alone!!!  
  
Utena: SHUT UP!  
  
Miki: Um um um um um!!! You said a bad word!  
  
Utena: GO TO YOUR ROOM!  
  
Miki: Miggle wiggle smiggle friz mumble grumble.... (storms off to his room)  
  
Juri: .... GOT IT!  
  
Touga: Hooray! You got the string in!  
  
Juri: Now I have to tie the knot..... hmm, lessee.... You put the string and the end around and then you uh....  
  
Touga: Here, let me help you.....  
  
Nanami: WHAAAAAAT?!?!?! HE'S TOUCHING HER HAND!!!! ARGH!  
  
Saionji: Meep.....  
  
Nanami: IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!! DIE! MUHAHA!  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Nanami: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Utena: *sweatdrop*  
  
creeeeeeeeaaaaaaaak  
  
Miki: M-miss Utena? Can I come out?  
  
Utena: Not till you say sorry.  
  
Miki: FOR WHAT?!  
  
Utena: Fine! I was GOING to let you go on a date with Anthy, but now....  
  
Miki: Oh I'm sorry sorry sorry!!!  
  
Utena: Well, you can come out!  
  
Miki: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!  
  
Utena: But Anthy is out of the question.  
  
Miki: Poo.  
  
Anthy: Oh! Hello Sir Miki! How are you feeling now that you've had some time alone?  
  
Miki: (thoughts) Miss Anthy actually acknowledged my existence! She even said THREE WHOLE SENTENCES to me!  
  
Anthy: Sir Miki?  
  
Miki: Oh, uh, I feel, uh, much better. (hearts form above his head)  
  
Utena: Hey, Miki!  
  
Miki: (hearts)  
  
Utena: EARTH TO MIKI! Helloooooo!!!  
  
Miki: Rats! I was having a wonderful daydream about Anthy and I---  
  
Touga: AAAAAAAGH! JURI SPEARED HER FINGER!  
  
Juri: Oh! Ow! It hurts! AAAAAAAH!  
  
Touga: JURI'S BLEEDING REALLY REALLY BAD! WHAT DO WE DO?!  
  
Juri: QUIT YELLING AND DO SOMETHING!  
  
Utena: It can't be that bad...  
  
(Utena then sees the giant hole gushing blood in Juri's finger)  
  
Utena: Eew! Yuck! Gross!  
  
Juri: Oo, the world's going fuzzy.....  
  
Utena: ANTHY! GET A BAND-AID!  
  
Anthy: Band-aid! OK! Now where did I put them?  
  
Juri: (faints)  
  
Touga: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!  
  
Nanami: Oh dear brother! What on earth is troubling you, o brother?  
  
Touga: JURI'S DEAD! SHE BLED TO DEATH!  
  
Nanami: YESSS! I mean... OH NO!  
  
Saionji: Wait! She's alive! She just needs to get THAT covered up....  
  
Nanami: That? (looks) OOoooOOOoooh! THAT! Gross!  
  
Anthy: Here's the tin!  
  
Touga: HOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!  
  
Anthy: Oh dear! I'm all out!  
  
Touga: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!  
  
Miki: Juri's dying? Here! Use my gauntlet to cover it up!  
  
Touga: Here Juri! Miki's gauntlet! (covers up THAT)  
  
(3 hours later)  
  
Juri: Huh? Oh! Miki's gauntlet! MIKI! YOU SAVED MY LIFE! AGAIN!!!  
  
Miki: Let me guess....  
  
Juri: I am eternally grateful!  
  
Nanami: NOOO! Juri came back to life! (glares at Saionji)  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
----------------------------------------------------- Poor, poor Juri! Well, uh, R&R! 


	4. Chapter 4

This Happens Once in a While... An Utena ROADTRIP  
  
A/N: The Utena characters go on a road trip......and Juri gets Typhiod Fever from being hit by a car? Oops, I gave away the next chapter. Well, R&R!  
  
--------------------------------------- Anthy: ARE WE THERE YET?  
  
Miki: No.  
  
Saionji: ARE WE THERE YET?  
  
Miki: No  
  
Nanami: ARE WE THERE YET?  
  
Miki: No  
  
Kazue: ARE WE THERE YET?  
  
Miki: SHUT UP!  
  
Kazue: MIKI DOESN'T LIKE ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Utena: Hey, it's cramped back here, so you don't have to yell!  
  
(OK, here's the layout: We're in Akio's Saturn with Miki as the driver, Anthy in the passenger seat, and in the back are [in order from left to right] Juri, Touga, Nanami, Saionji, Utena, and Kazue. Chu Chuu's is stuffed in the glove compartment)  
  
Anthy: Say, Sir Miki, where are we going?  
  
Miki: Gee whillickers, I don't know! Where are we going, Utena?  
  
Utena: CRAZY!!!  
  
Kazue: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Miki: Uh oh! Corners!  
  
Juri: Yay! Corners!  
  
SQUISH!  
  
(It just so happend that the corner was on Kazue's side, so they all fell on Juri. Just a little science for you ;p)  
  
Juri: dying! can't..... breathe!  
  
Touga: JURI CAN'T BREATHE! WHAT DO WE DO?!  
  
Juri: you could.... get off.... my..... face....  
  
Touga: WHAT JURI?  
  
Juri: you landed..... on my face....  
  
Saionji: Uh, Touga, let me define "babysitting" for you....  
  
Touga: OK, shoot.  
  
Saionji: Well, it just so happens you're "sitting" on your "baby"......  
  
Touga: Oh, Juri! I'm so sorry! (moves over)  
  
Juri: (gasp)  
  
Nanami: TOUGA AND JURI ARE GOING OUT?! (glares at Saionji)  
  
Saionji: No, Nanami, it's not like....  
  
Nanami: DIE! (whacks Saionji, which knocks everyone onto Kazue)  
  
Kazue: GET OFF! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M MOPING?! (Punches Utena who falls creating the domino effect back onto Juri)  
  
Juri: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! TOUGA'S BREAKING MY BACK!  
  
Miki: QUIET BACK THERE! I'm TRYING to DRIVE!  
  
Touga: For the LAST time, we are NOT going out!  
  
Nanami: Oh, dearest big brother, I'm so sorry for doubting thee!  
  
Touga: Never mind, Nanami.  
  
(Everyone else is screaming)  
  
Miki: Uh, so, Anthy? About that date?  
  
Utena: NO!  
  
Miki: QUIET OUT BACK! I'll turn on some tunes.  
  
(The song happens to be "I believe in Miracles")  
  
Juri: NO! NO! I DON'T BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! TURN IT OFF!!!  
  
Miki: Why should I? It's my favorite song ;)  
  
Juri: PLEASE MIKI! PLEASE, OH SAVIOR!  
  
Miki: Not this time, Miss Juri!  
  
Juri: I'VE HAD ENOUGH! (flings herself out car door)  
  
Nanami: Hey! She didn't have her seat-belt on!  
  
BAM!  
  
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Miki: MISS JURI! CAN YOU HEAR ME!  
  
Touga: JURI GOT HIT BY A SEMI! JURI GOT HIT! OH NO!  
  
Nanami: Oh, what SHALL we do :)  
  
Miki: ANTHY! GET THE CELL-PHONE!  
  
Anthy: Got it! Now what?  
  
Miki: DIAL 9-1-1!  
  
Anthy: OK, 9-9-1! (waits)  
  
Juri: *cough* T-Touga?  
  
Touga: JURI! WHAT DO YOU NEED?! ANYHTING!  
  
Nanami: Any...thing? (glares at Saionji)  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Juri: You look like.... a crazed chicken.......  
  
Touga: OH JURI!  
  
Miki: Don't worry, Juri! Anthy's calling 9-1-1!  
  
Juri: Mumble muff.....  
  
Miki: What?!  
  
Juri: N....not.... Anthy.....  
  
Utena: Oh, Juri! Don't be so silly! You can TOTALLY rely on Anthy!  
  
Anthy: Oh! So THAT was the number! 9-9-9! (waits)  
  
Kazue: WAAAAAAH! Snif sniff..... (I'm out of tears...) Hey, where'd everbody go?  
  
Anthy: Hmm.... 9-1-9 (waits)  
  
Kazue: WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MIKI LEFT ME! (runs out into street towards Miki)  
  
BAM!  
  
Miki: Hang on, Juri! Help is on the way!  
  
Anthy: Is it 1-1-9?  
  
Utena: Uh, Miki? I think your honeybun doesn't know the number....  
  
Touga: 9-1-1! 9-1-1! SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!  
  
Anthy: OoOh! 9-0-1!  
  
Utena: No, Anthy! 9-ONE-1!!!  
  
Anthy: OoOh! 9-1-1! ..... Yes, I'd like to order a small pepperoni pizza, with -- oh, wrong number? Thank you.  
  
Anthy: UTENA! THAT WAS THE ABUNDANCE! NOT THE PIZZA PARLOR!  
  
Utena: You idiot!  
  
Miki: It's too late for that now! Hmm.... (analyzes Juri) She's got a few broken ribs and a broken leg.... here, put her up in the front seat and wrap my beach towel around her! Yeah, like that, and prop her foot up on the console! THERE you go!  
  
Anthy: I'm so sorry Sir Miki!  
  
Miki: It's alright. Get in the back with everyone else, OK?  
  
Anthy: Alright. Miss Utena! Wait for me!  
  
2 HOURS LATER  
  
Juri: Huh... wha? Oh! Miki! You saved my life! I am eternally grateful!  
  
-----------END?-----------  
  
Oh dear, poor Juri! R&R! (I have NOTHING against Juri! Really!) 


	5. Chapter 5

This Happens Once in a While... An Utena Story  
  
A/N: Hey ya ^-^ Mokona here! This fanfic is a blast to write, so expect around 20 chapters of more for this little series! Poor Juri :( Having to go through all that pain of being hit by a semi and all... Well, the whole Utena gang (I made Nanami go just for fun ;D) is visiting her in the hospital because...... why was it again? Oh yeah! She got Typhoid Fever! (Although it doesn't make much sense to me, but hey, what do I know?) Juri fans, no flames! Make sure you R&R!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------  
  
Utena: I feel sorry for Juri, don't you Anthy?  
  
Anthy: I feel sorry for Miss Juri, don't you, Sir Miki?  
  
Miki: I feel sorry for Juri, too. She's always getting hurt!  
  
Touga: JURI'S SICK JURI'S SICK!  
  
Saionji: Yes, Touga. We know. If you keep that up, they'll NEVER let us go into her room.  
  
Nanami: O dearest of dear brothers, come sit down by your unworthy sister!  
  
Touga: What?!  
  
Nanami: Come sit over here, Touga.  
  
Touga: Ok.  
  
Miki: Anthy, you've memorized the emergency phone number, right?  
  
Anthy: Why yes, Sir Miki! I have! 9-1-1!  
  
Miki: Alright, so when I say dial 9-1-1, who are you calling?  
  
Anthy: The abundance.  
  
Utena: No Anthy, the Ambulance.  
  
Anthy: OoOoOoh! Ambulance!  
  
Nurse: You may see her now.  
  
Miki: Hey, that's us! Come on.  
  
(the group enters Juri's room, where she is laying in bed)  
  
Nurse: Ah-Ah! Two at a time!  
  
(Everyone but Miki and Anthy leave)  
  
Touga: I DON'T GET TO SEE JURI! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Utena: Shh! You and I can go next.  
  
Nanami: Oh but dear brother! I want to go with YOU!  
  
Kazue: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MIKI DOESN'T LIKE ME!!!  
  
Utena: I SAID SHUT UP!  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  
  
Anthy: Hello Miss Juri! Are you feeling any better?  
  
Juri: *Cough* yeah, a little bit...  
  
Miki: Gosh, Juri! I'm really sorry about that.  
  
Juri: What? *cough* You saved my life! I am eternally *cough cough* grateful!  
  
Miki: No, stupid! If I turned off the music, you wouldn't have jumped out!  
  
Anthy: That's really funny, because you don't believe in miracles, but one happened to you! :)  
  
Juri: I DON'T BELIEVE IN MIRACLES! COUGH COUGH HACK! (starts a coughing fit)  
  
Nurse: Alright, lady! You two git outta here and send the next two in!  
  
(Miki&Anthy leave, Touga and Utena come in)  
  
Nanami: He LEFT me out here! (glares at Saionji)  
  
Saionji: Ulp...  
  
Nanami: DIE!  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
Touga: JURI! ARE YOU OK?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Juri: COUGH HAAAAACK! *small cough* Uh, yeah. I'm over it.  
  
Utena: What did they do to you?!  
  
Juri: They were talking about *cough* miracles, and I yelled at them and *COUGH COUGH*  
  
Utena: OK! I get it!  
  
Touga: Poor Juri! Poor Juri! Poor, poor POOR Juri! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Juri: Shut up, Touga.  
  
Utena: How on Earth did you get Typhoid Fever from someone's tires?  
  
Juri: How did I, Author?  
  
Mokona: Well, uh, cause I typed it up on the computer and pushed the ENTER button?  
  
Touga: THAT WASN'T VERY NICE!!!  
  
Mokona: Hey, I'll do it to you, too!  
  
Touga: I'd like to see you try!  
  
BAM!  
  
Nurse: Yo, lady! Jus' who do ya think you are, driving buses in the hoSPITal? (spits on floor)  
  
Mokona: Why the who are you a nurse anyways?  
  
Nurse: I git a paycheck. That's all I need.  
  
Mokona: HUMPH! Lessee, NURSE GETS HIT WITH A BUS. Enter!  
  
BAM!  
  
Utena: (cowwering in fear)  
  
Mokona: Heh heh.... It's about time you and Touga leave...  
  
(Utena helps Touga out the door)  
  
Mokona: NEXT!  
  
(Nanami and Saionji enter the room)  
  
Nanami: DIE!  
  
Saionji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
(Nanami misses and whacks Juri instead)  
  
Juri: COUGH HAAAAACK!  
  
Mokona: Well, that's not very nice! NANAMI FALLS INTO A FIREY PIT.  
  
(It happens)  
  
Nanami: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! I HATE YOU! YOU BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!  
  
Mokona: How DARE you! NANAMI IS INSTANLTY BURNT TO A CRISP!  
  
Nanami: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! (burns to a crisp)  
  
Saionji: Whew! Thanks, Mokona-sama!  
  
Mokona: Hey, no big! It was nuthin'!  
  
Juri: COUGH COUGH! Huff huff... Yeah, thanks!  
  
Saionji: So, uh, Juri? Whuzzup?  
  
Juri: I was just slugged by Nanami but I'm doin' good! The doctors say I should be out in a week!  
  
Saionji: That's excellent! :)  
  
Mokona: I'll leave you two alone... ;)  
  
Saionji: HEY! I JUST SAID THAT WAS GREAT! IT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE HER!  
  
Mokona: Hey, hey, you wanna get hit, too? I was just joshing with you! Honestly!  
  
Saionji: Yeah, whatever. See ya, Juri!  
  
Juri: BYE GUYS!  
  
Mokona: What about Kazue?  
  
Juri: I REALLY don't want to see her.  
  
Mokona: OK, take care!  
  
Juri: BYE EVERYONE!  
  
Everyone: BYE!  
  
...............  
  
Juri: Glad that's over with...  
  
Nanami: FREEEEEDOOOOOOM!!!  
  
Juri: o_O  
  
Nanami: This.... it was ALL YOUR FAULT! (whacks Juri)  
  
Miki: NANAMI! GET AWAY FROM HER! \  
  
Juri: Oh Miki! You saved my life! I am eternally grateful!  
  
Miki: Oh, that's nice, BYE!  
  
Juri: Oh wait, Miki! Wait for meeeeeee!!!  
  
---------------END----------------  
  
Heh heh.... poor Juri. Well R&R! New chapter up soon! 


	6. Chapter 6

This Happens Once in a While... An Utena Story  
  
A/N: Oh, poor Miki. What? Juri too? And Nanami? Gosh, all our prized possessions are missing! But who stole them? R&R! Thanx!  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Utena: Psst! Anthy!  
  
Anthy: Yes, Miss Utena?  
  
Utena: Shh! Keep it down! Do you like pineapple?  
  
Anthy: Why yes, I do!  
  
Utena: Hush! Then go get Miki's stopwatch for me.  
  
Miki: (clicks stopwatch continuously)  
  
Anthy: But Miss Utena! Miki LOVES his stopwatch!  
  
Utena: I'll give you a pineapple!  
  
Anthy: You've got yourself a deal!  
  
THAT NIGHT...  
  
Miki: MY STOPWAAAAAAAAATCH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Kazue: What's wrong, Miki?  
  
Miki: (sobbing) My stopwatch! Have you seen it?  
  
Kazue: Oh, did you lose something AGAIN?!  
  
Miki: (between sobs) I (sob) I had it (sob) on the table next (sob) to (sob) me! WAAAAAH!!!  
  
Kazue: Oh, Miki. You're such a baby!  
  
Miki: (cries hysterically) (falls on the floor and kicks his legs)  
  
Kazue: OK, I'll help you find your stupid watch if you---  
  
Miki: (sobbing) IT'S NOT A STUPID WATCH!  
  
Kazue: FINE! I'll help you find your STOPWATCH if you make me a milkshake.  
  
Miki: (eagerly) OK!  
  
MEANWHILE.....  
  
Utena: Good job, Anthy! Here's your pineapple!  
  
Anthy: Thanks! (devours the fruit in one bite)  
  
Utena: You want moooooore?  
  
Anthy: More! More!  
  
Utena: Then go steal Kazue's milkshake.  
  
Anthy: But - but Miss Kazue LOVES her milkshakes!  
  
Utena: NOW! ANTHY!  
  
Anthy: OK! OK!  
  
LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
Kazue: Sorry we couldn't find your stopwatch, Miki.  
  
Miki: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Kazue: But I'll help you look in the morning.  
  
Miki: (sniff) Promise?  
  
Kazue: Yes, I promise. Now, about that milkshake....  
  
Miki: Oh, I set that on your nightstand.  
  
.............  
  
Kazue: MY MILKSHAAAAAAAKE! IT'S GOOOOOOONE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Miki: MY STOP WAAAAAAATCH! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Nanami: WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!!!! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!  
  
Miki: (between sobs) My (sob) stopwatch is gone (sob) missing (sob) and (sob) and (sob)  
  
Kazue: MY MILKSHAAAAAAKE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Nanami: You two are such babies. I'm going back to bed with my little egg! GOOD NIGHT!!!  
  
SLAM!  
  
Nanami: Ahh! I LOVE my egg! I LOVE my egg! My..... egg?  
  
............  
  
Nanami: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
MEANWHILE.....  
  
Utena: Yes! Good work, Anthy! Here's your fruit salad, as promised.  
  
Anthy: SNARF!  
  
Utena: So, Anthy... ever notice how Juri's looks at that locket?  
  
Anthy: I don't know Miss Utena, do I?  
  
Utena: Yeeeeeeees.... you do.... I want you to get it for me.  
  
Anthy: But Miss Utena, that is a locket! A locket is a private thing!  
  
Utena: Oh, Anthy! You don't understand! For months now, I've been trying to become Juri's friend, and I thought that since she loved it so, I would polish it for her to get her to notice me! But no. It is private. (fake sniff) I would never look at it, you know, but I guess she'll never want to be my friend!  
  
Anthy: But Miss Utena! I thought I was your friend!  
  
Utena: GO GET THE STUPID LOCKET!  
  
Anthy: Can I have an Anthy snack?  
  
Utena: Yes, here you go. Now, off with you!  
  
Anthy: Yes, Miss Utena.  
  
Utena: muhahahaha...Hahahahaha.... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Anthy: Hee hee hee hee hee!  
  
Utena: (insane laughter)  
  
Anthy: Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee!  
  
Utena: GO GET THE LOCKET!  
  
Anthy: Right away.  
  
LATER.....  
  
Miki: MY STOOOOOPWAAAAAAAAATCH!  
  
Kazue: MY MIIIIIIILKSHAAAAAAAAAAAKE!  
  
Nanami: MY EGG! (spreads her arms in enthusiasm)  
  
Juri: My gosh, what have we here? Three duelists, crying like babies in the middle of the night...  
  
Nanami: OH JURI! YOU GOTTA HELP MY EGG!!!  
  
Kazue: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILKSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!  
  
Miki: (has now become entirely insane and in holding a cookie pretending it is his stopwatch) Clickey clickey..... clickey clickey..... click click!  
  
Juri: You idiots....... I wonder what Shiori would say....... (touches her neck) Sh-shiori....? Locket?  
  
.......  
  
Juri: MY LOCKET! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!  
  
Kazue: Come on, Miki. We can have some peace and quiet in the cafeteria, OK?  
  
Miki: Clickey click......  
  
Nanami: EGG! OH EGGY EGG! I LOVED YOU! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Juri: I'LL KILL YA! I SHALL PREVAIL!!!  
  
MEANWHILE... again.....  
  
Anthy: I'm getting the hang of this!  
  
Utena: Yes. I agree. Now..... SAIONJI'S KENDO STICK!  
  
Anthy: Ok. He doesn't care about that dumb thing anyway..  
  
THAT MORNING....  
  
Saionji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!  
  
Juri: I'LL KILL YA! IIIII'LLL KIIIIIIIIILL YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Nanami: Oh EGG!!!!!  
  
Kazue: (She's lost it too) Moo...... moo.........mooo......Moomoo......  
  
Miki: Clickey click......  
  
Saionji: JURI! ARE YOU MAD?  
  
Juri: I'M MAD!  
  
Saionji: That means WE'RE BOTH MAD!  
  
Juri: Why are you mad?  
  
Saionji: My kendo stick is gone. Why are YOU mad?  
  
Juri: My Shi-- My locket!  
  
Saionji: WHO'S MAD?  
  
Juri: I'M MAD!  
  
Saionji: WHO'S MAD?  
  
Juri: I'M MAD!  
  
Saionji: WHO'S MAD?!  
  
Juri: I'M MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!  
  
Nanami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!  
  
Saionji: Nanami, are you mad, too?  
  
Nanami: No.  
  
Saionji: You aren't?  
  
Nanami: I'M SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!  
  
Saionji: Oh. Why are you sad?  
  
Nanami: MY EGG IS GOOOOOOONE!!!  
  
Saionji: My kendo stick's missing!  
  
Nanami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!!!  
  
Touga: I'M MAD!  
  
Saionji: Why are you mad, Touga?  
  
Touga: Cause everyone else is mad!  
  
Saionji: Oh. Well, who's not mad?  
  
.......  
  
T&S: UTENA!  
  
Juri: I'll KILL Utena!  
  
Nanami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!!!  
  
Kazue: Moo moo........ moo milkshake...... mookshake..... hee hee.....  
  
Miki: Click..... clickey click.....  
  
SLAM!  
  
Utena: What's going on? I heard everyone screaming and...  
  
Touga: You -- you're not the theif?  
  
Utena: Theif? Is THAT it?  
  
Saionji: Yeah! There's a theif out to get us!  
  
Nanami: YEAH! First Miki's stopwatch, then Kazue's milkshake! Then...  
  
Juri: ... Nanami's egg, and my locket... and now....  
  
Saionji: MY KENDO STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Nanami: Oh big brother! I bet you'll be next! I have this gut feeling!  
  
Touga: Utena, you'd better watch yourself. I'll keep an eye out too.  
  
Utena: Don't worry! I'll be ready! (snicker snicker)  
  
THAT NIGHT.....  
  
Utena: Now go, Anthy.  
  
Anthy: Yes, master......  
  
Later....  
  
Touga: BINOCULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!  
  
Saionji: KENDO STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!  
  
Juri: LOCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!  
  
Nanami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!!!  
  
Kazue: Moo.....  
  
Miki: Click.....  
  
ALL: UTENA!!!!!  
  
Saionji: LET'S GO GET HER! (Raises fist)  
  
BASH!  
  
Saionji: Oops. Sorry, Juri.  
  
Juri: I think you dislocated my jaw..... (goes into corner w/Kazue & Miki) Nobody likes me.... Every body hates me..... SOB SOB SOB!!! IT HUUUUURTS!  
  
BASH BOOM BANG SMASH CRASH!  
  
Juri: I WANT SOME OF THE ACTION TOO! (Runs in room and is immediately bashed back out) The world's going fuzzy..... again.....  
  
Nanami: EGG!  
  
Juri: M-my locket..?  
  
Touga: MY BINOCULARS!  
  
Saionji: MY KENDO STICK!  
  
Kazue: Can it be? My.... milkshake? MY MILKSHAKE!!!!!  
  
Miki: Clickey... clickey......  
  
Kazue: *sweatdrop* (puts stopwatch in Miki's hand)  
  
Miki: Click....CLICK?! MY STOPWATCH!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: YEAH!!!  
  
Utena: Well, there goes my supreme world order....  
  
Anthy: Do I still get my pineapple?  
  
--------------END---------------  
  
Bad Utena! Bad, bad, BAD! Well, R&R! I wonder what it would be like in Utena's world order.... sounds kind of fun :) 


End file.
